Recollections
by umbreonix
Summary: As spring returns to Echo Village, Sanjay recalls unpleasant memories from the past and struggles to weigh the obligations he feels to his Master and country to his growing attraction to the village farmer. A late submission to CAPJHMPAgirl's May Flowers prompt.


Sanjay stepped out of the mansion pausing under the back veranda. He closed his eyes and released a breath of relief. The air was cool but warm enough that he would not need to layer on any extra clothing. The birds chirping in a nearby tree had to be a signal that his first winter was finally over. He took a few more tentative steps outside until he was fully exposed to the morning sun.

He closed his eyes, pointing his long lashes to the sky, soaking in every beam of light that hit his dark skin. He held his long white braid to his chest, absentmindedly running his thumb over the ridges.

Before coming to Echo Village, he had never seen snow before other than as a splash of white up in the distance, capping the mountains of his home country. While the soft snowy flakes had been a wondrous encounter over the first few days, soon the winter harshened and became far less bearable.

He felt reluctance to stay indoors on such a lovely day but stepped back inside the mansion anyway to prepare his morning tea, pouring the hot drink with practiced grace into an ornate china cup.

He paused as an idea hit him. Breaking more etiquette rules than he cared to count, he lifted the cup and saucer with care and stepped back outside to wander the yard as he drank.

He knew he had grown too relaxed in Amir's absence, He would need to correct his behaviour before the prince's return.

He glanced up at the large window on the upper floor of the mansion that looked into his master's room. He had spent the early hours of the morning dusting it with vigor, opening up the windows of the room to fill it with fresh, cool spring air.

Everything was going to be perfect when the prince returned. He had left the household in Sanjay's care and the butler always strived to rise above his expectations.

He walked around the perimeter of the house, ensuring no debris or trash had been left by the melted snow. It was amazing that nothing seemed out of place, this town didn't litter. He glanced at the gates as he passed the front of the mansion, hoping to spot the Prince mid-arrival.

He had never been away from his master for this long and while it had been nearly unbearable living alone in that mansion over the fall season, when an unexpected death in the family forced Amir to stay at the palace over the winter as well, Sanjay began to feel and no-doubt look like an abandoned puppy.

It could have been worse, the hospitality of the village was staggering. The villagers prevented him from mopping alone in the large empty rooms of the mansion. He was constantly being invited to share meals or have tea, and Olivia was still in town for when he was feeling homesick.

It definitely helped to have someone else from the same culture around. He was still learning about the local customs, and sometimes it was exhausting trying to keep up. People were more openly affectionate here, displaying gestures that would be misconstrued back home.

A thought of the pretty blonde farmer down the road crossed his mind and he shook his head a little as if to dissipate the image. She more so than anyone else had been a good companion to him in the prince's absence.

Come to think of it, he supposed he hadn't been misinterpreting her actions at all: Bringing him little gifts, inviting him out to the Starry Night festival, sacrificing a night that he later learned was supposed to be spent with one's sweetheart. It drove him half insane trying to justify how each action could just as easily be a friendly gesture.

Then there was New Year's festival last night…

His cheek still tingled with warmth where she had kissed it. Rio was making her usual rounds around the festival grounds, taking time to talk to each and every villager. She had spoken to him last and for the longest, still at his side just before the clock struck midnight.

He had told her about a custom back home where everyone reveals one secret that they do not wish to take with them into the new year.

_The blonde looked up at him with a playful smile, "Alright then Sanjay, what secret have you been sitting on?"_

_He paused. "I hate winter," he finally and bluntly admitted. _

_She laughed. "I knew it! You've been putting on such a brave face."_

_He glanced out at the white expanse of the festival grounds and shivered. "It reminds me a bit too much of the lands of my childhood, before I came in service of the prince."_

_"The winter does?" She asked in confusion._

_"Not the cold," He corrected, "but the barrenness."_

_She tried to press him for more but he was tight-lipped from then on. Changing the topic, he turned to the woman with a smile. "Miss Rio, is there anything you'd like to unburden yourself of?"_

_She paused thoughtfully as the villagers began to chant the countdown._

_"Quickly!" He said in concern. "It has to be before the New Year or it's bad luck!"_

_"5"_

_A thought had clearly crossed Rio's mind. "Got it," she said._

_"4"_

_She didn't say anything, she just smiled and crossed her arms behind her back, not to be rushed by the time limit._

_"3"_

_"Miss Rio!" He urged in concern, checking his watch. She paced over and reached up on her toes, her lips grazing the shell of his ear by the proximity._

_"2"_

_"I love you," she whispered. _

_"1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"_

_A soft pair of lips brushed his cheek before she pulled back. "Happy new years, Sanjay," she said as if she hadn't just shattered his entire world and she skipped off._

Sanjay finished his inspection of the house's grounds, finding nothing out of place. He settled down under a tree at the edge of the mansion's property and tried his best to clear his mind, but such an action was now impossible now that he had allowed himself to think about the town's most eligible bachelorette.

It was a windless day, small fuzzy white seeds stood suspended lazily in the air. He watched them in quiet meditation.

He was confused about his own feelings towards the farmer. He had never allowed himself to be open to the concept of love before. His life was meant to be in service of the prince, a self-imposed restriction. That had been more than enough for him. Once he had joined the royal court, he had had his fair share of women in the market approach him, but their intentions seemed ingenuine. Marriage for status wasn't unusual back home but he himself wasn't interested in playing those games.

Rio didn't have those motivations however, she had no interest in leaving Echo Village. He had never dared assume someone could care for him in the capacity she had expressed and he was left stumped on how to proceed.

"Sanjay, hi," a voice greeted from the other side of the wrought iron fence.

His heart leapt into his throat and it was a miracle he didn't spill any of his drink.

The young farmer winced apologetically, "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you."

"Miss Rio, you have nothing to be sorry for. How is the day treating you?" He asked, trying and failing not to note the way her blue eyes shone in the light.

"She's going to be a long one," Rio said shaking her head as if she wasn't keen on this prospect, yet unable to hide the hint of optimism in her voice. It was nice that two years into her farm work, she was still so enthusiastic. "The first day of the new season is always busy, I've still got a lot of planting to do."

"I'd imagine," he said.

The farmer bit her lip and shuffled on the spot. "W-what are you up to?" She asked with a moment's pause. He had caught the stutter, it was unusual for the confident woman.

"I'm just taking in the weather for a bit before I begin preparing the house for the Master's return," Sanjay replied.

"Amir's coming back?" She asked in interest. "that's great news!"

"Yes, I admit I'll be quite happy to have him back. I've been in service of the master for a long time," he said with a soft smile. "I had never been away from his side this long before."

She fiddled with the brim of her hat. "I don't suppose you'd like some company for a while?" She asked.

_I love you… _It was still hard to talk to her normally when he could still feel the way those three words had formed in his ear the other night.

A weight of anticipation sat on his chest, he supposed they needed to talk. "Of course, by all means, come join me!" He said.

To his dismay, she did not walk around out front to the gated entrance. She simply took a few steps back, scanned her gaze up the fence and seamlessly climbed it with a few well-planned moves… until she reached the top where she less-than-gracefully maneuvered around the spikes and tumbled down in front of him, recovering from her landing with a cheeky grin and a gymnast's pose. "Nailed it," she said.

"Miss Rio!" He exclaimed in shock, he had put the tea down and rushed to her side.

She blinked in surprise at the scandalized tone in his voice. "Oh, oh no, I'm so sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't thinking. It was probably improper."

"You're not hurt are you?" He asked in concern, giving her a worried inspection.

"No, of course not!" She promised.

He let out a breath of relief. "Good, I couldn't stand to see you hurt again."

A flash of indignation crossed her face for a moment and he realized she didn't appreciate his bringing up her mistake again.

"That was the first and only time I had ever hit my hand hammering before," she insisted. "I… got a little distracted, I wasn't used to an audience while I work," she rubbed her nose in embarrassment, "I swear I'm not usually that inept."

"I apologize if I unintentionally put pressure on you," he said.

"Oh no, that's not what I meant," she said in panic. "I didn't mean to blame you! Just… as a professional, I was really embarrassed to have messed up like that in front of someone," she glanced at him. "Especially you. I wanted to impress you..."

"Would you like me to go make some more tea?" He asked hiding the shake in his voice at her boldness.

"No, it's alright, I'm okay with just sitting out here," she said as they both returned to sit under the tree.

"Would you at least like to try a sip?" he asked holding his cup out. "It's a new blend Prince Amir sent from back home."

"It's from your homeland?" She asked with curiosity.

"From herbs grown at the base of the mountain," he said.

"Sure then," she said, taking the cup.

He regretted the offer a moment later as he watched her pink lip meet the brim of the cup, remembering again the distinct feeling of them lightly grazing his own skin. He glanced away shamefully.

"It's really good," she said with surprise, forcing him to turn his gaze back and give her a weak smile.

"I'm glad you like it," he said.

She didn't immediately hand him back the cup, she played with it in the saucer for a moment, staring distantly into the amber liquid.

Up close he noticed a spot of dried mud on her jaw. Her golden hair was tangled and in disarray, tamed only by her cow-print Stenson. These details in her appearance were all little signs of the time she had already put into her fields this morning. _She was beautiful._ He shook his head in surprise at the thought.

She looked up at him suddenly and for a startled moment, he was afraid she had somehow read his mind.

"When you said that you have worked for Amir for a long time… You don't seem much older than me, how long have you worked for him?"

Sanjay leaned back. "I wonder… I believe I was eleven and the prince was nine."

She guffawed nervously, "What?".

The alarm in her expression pricked at him a little. "Our cultures are very different," Sanjay said, there was a barely distinguishable hint of sadness in his tone. Not about his life of service, but at how she would likely never understand how honoured and privileged he felt to have been able to stand by Amir for that period of time.

"The years I've spent taking care of him have been the best in my life," he said simply.

He could see in her eyes she wasn't convinced. It was a nail in his heart that she seemed to pity him for his greatest pride.

"I was born in the desert," he said suddenly, not a part of his life he had intended to share but he found himself wanting her to understand him better.

She blinked in surprise at the sudden statement. "I... I didn't know that. I thought you and Amir said that your home was in the tropics."

"Our Kingdom is divided by a large mountain belt," he explained. "The capital is on the western side, by the ocean. I was born in the east, rain cannot pass the mountains, so the land is not much more than a large and empty desert with a few poverty-stricken villages laying few and far between. It's a harsh environment out there, the land is inhospitable to human life, it's like living in a year-long winter. The sun burns exposed skin in the same way frost nips. Walking through snow blankets is not unlike hiking over sand dunes."

"Interesting comparison," she said.

"Nothing grows in the white sand, just as nothing grows in the snow," he said, "This last season without the prince was difficult, it brought back a lot of unpleasant memories I had forgotten."

Her hand found his unconsciously. "I had no idea you were struggling so much," she said quietly. "I wish you'd have told me."

He gave her a sidelong smile. "I didn't feel that way when you were by my side. I've always thought you were like a second sun you know."

She turned deep red, glancing away with a hand to her face. "Wow, that was very direct," she said. "Wait... Is that even a good thing to someone who came from a desert?

He laughed a little, "I suppose we've gotten a little lost in metaphors."

She angled closer to him and laughed, a little shyly. "Yeah... It's funny you said that though, I always thought you were a little like moonlight," she said. "You like to carry an air of mystery don't you?"

Sanjay took another sip of his tea before it got cold. "I suppose you're disappointed now that I'm bearing everything to you then," he said. It was meant as a joke to lighten the mood but it came off heavier than he anticipated.

"Not at all," she said quietly. He was all too conscious she hadn't taken her hand off of his. Rather, she entwined her fingers between his.

"There was a famine one year when I was very young. My father and I hiked over miles of sand dunes between villages in search of work and food. We often went hungry."

Before she could express her sympathies, he carried on.

"But it was a blessing in disguise for the two of us. It was from our wandering vagabond lifestyle that I had met a very young Prince Amir. His parents were travelling the country and he was the only son who had wanted to accompany them out to such an unexciting place. He played with me for an afternoon and made a bit of a scene until his parents agreed to let us come work in the palace. It was unheard of at the time, still is, if I'm being honest," he said. He ran a hand through his hair. "It was because of Prince Amir I was able to leave behind a life where I was simply focused on survival."

"I see why you're so close now," she said quietly. "What's was it like going to the capital?"

"Like spring finally coming after a long winter," he said. "Perhaps that's why I'm feeling so nostalgic today. The capital city is a paradise, wet and lush with broad-leafed plants all year round, there is not such a large difference between the seasons."

She leaned back thoughtfully, "I don't know how I'd feel about that," she said honestly. She froze. "Not to bash your city! It sounds amazing, just not my cup of tea."

"You'd rather have winter?" He asked in surprise.

"Well…" she said thoughtfully. "Life is coloured by its contrasts you know? Yin and yang, day and night and all that. She leaned a bit more weight on the hand that was still on top of his own. He glanced down at her pale and petite hand, dwarfed by his own larger and a darker one.

He was still looking at them both when he nodded, "yes, I think I can understand that," he said softly.

"You can't enjoy the good as much without the bad. Just like relaxing doesn't feel as nice when it isn't hard-earned after a long day's work," she said after some more thought. "It was only because we just got through winter that we're all outside today, appreciating nature," she gestured out to the village beyond the fence. People local and not were wandering the walkways pointing at buds growing on various shrubbery, or heading up towards the Northern hiking trails.

A tight grimace crossed Sanjay's lips. "I think I understand that as well. I'd grown more used to living in the capital city than I had thought. I had forgotten to stop and appreciate the little things like this." He sighed. "I feel a little guilty how far removed I had grown from my roots. The people we met in our travels are still out there fighting. It's a shame Prince Amir is so far down the line of succession, he would make a great king. He cares so much about everyone in the country, if it was him in charge he'd do everything he could for them. Even now he is to the capacity he can."

"Is that why he went home?" She asked.

"That's why he came here," Sanjay replied. "We heard of a village that suddenly recovered from a state of nearly being wiped off the map and thought we could learn something from how it managed to build back up."

"Well, have you found anything out?" She asked.

Sanjay paused. "I don't know Master Amir's thoughts but personally, I don't think the answer is in this village."

"Why not?" She asked in surprise and maybe even a little offence.

He removed his hand from hers only to tuck her hair behind her ear in admiration. "We can't replicate the things you've done here Rio, you're the only person like you in the whole world."

"I-" She grimaced in a way that shocked him.

"You don't realize that all of this was your doing?" He asked in disbelief.

"I'm just the manpower of this operation, I just follow Dunhill's Restoration Plans and Rebecca's blueprints," she said.

"Yes..." he said, "Master Amir is still learning from Dunhill but it's my opinion that the process is a little more complicated if we try to implement his methods back home. You built this town from your own pocket, with your own materials, with your own two hands," he said. "It's great you're volunteering but expecting this of our people would be worse than slave labour."

She nodded dryly, "too true." She paused as a thought struck her.

"Wait… if there's nothing to learn here, will you both return back home?" She asked in alarm.

"As soon as Prince Amir is satisfied," he agreed with a sad smile.

"Is that why you won't respond to my confession?" She finally asked.

He paused. "I-I'm not sure. I'm sorry. You have to understand, I'm just a butler and a former street kid. It's hard for me to understand the source of your affections. You're the most incredible person I have ever met Rio, you could do much better."

"Not too amazing," she said sadly. "I can't even get 'just a butler' to return my feelings... Although you did finally just call me Rio." Her grin at that cheeky statement seemed fake but she stood up and dusted herself off. "Well, I can take rejection. I need to be getting back to work."

She trodded off and he watched after her dumbfounded.

The unexpected panic at watching her leave is what finally allowed him to clear his head.

"Wait, Mi- Rio!" He called.

She paused at the large front gates under the pink magnolia. He caught up.

"I never suggested I didn't return them," he said.

"What?" She asked.

"Your feelings, I hadn't said I didn't feel them as well," he said. "I'm sorry I hadn't realized sooner but being able to turn off attraction and unprofessional emotions is a job requirement."

She sighed and leaned back against the tree, "Thank the Goddess, I was hoping you'd follow."

"If you're willing, I'd love to move forward as sweethearts," he said. "Although you will have to forgive me at times, I have no experience in these such matters but I truly do want to be at your side for as long as I can."

She coyly pressed off of the tree and approached him, running her hands down the length of his arms affectionately, finding both of his hands this time. "I'd like that," she said and sighed. "It's too bad though, I wasn't lying when I said I have to get back to work."

He pressed his forehead her to hers, "Well then, I will be seeing you later, my Sunshine."

She parted away with a cheeky grin, "In a while, Moonbeam."

With terrible timing, Amir passed the two on his way through the gates, exhausted from his long journey. "Good morning you two, I see nothing's changed in my absence," the Prince said dryly, entering the house without waiting for Sanjay to follow and open the doors for him.

Sanjay stood in a state of devastation that he was not able to properly greet his oldest and dearest friend.

"Master! Welcome back!" Sanjay said far too late, chasing after him inside.

Rio was left blinking at the front gates. "Didn't run that fast after me," she muttered with humour and began her long walk back to the farm.

* * *

**I have to say this was the hardest thing I have ever written. Not sure why but nothing came to me for this prompt but I committed so I pushed this through with the strain of pushing water through the 0.1um filter that is my brain this month.**


End file.
